THE WRONG CHOICE
An acquaintance offered him the drug several years ago. For whatever reason -- perhaps mere curiosity -- Hankins said "yes."
"It wasn't really peer pressure or anything," Hankins said of the first time he tried meth. "I just made the wrong choice."
From that point on, Hankins said, his life has spiraled downward -- fast.
Hankins used meth on weekends, with some neighbors and friends. Paydays were the beginning of four-day meth binges, Hankins said. He'd use Friday through Tuesday, or until he ran out of money. At first, he'd call in sick to his job at the beginning of the week. Then he didn't bother to call.
"I thought I could control it," Hankins said. "At one point, I tried to change, but it was always there."
He sat at home and used rather than take his children, all under the age of 10, to the park, he said. He was fired and began fighting with his wife. Over the next few years, he was in and out of jail on charges including public intoxication, driving while suspended and domestic battery. In July of 2008, police arrested him in a battery incident. That violated his probation.
Hankins hasn't seen his children, who were placed in foster homes, while incarcerated and participating in a substance abuse program. He's trying to work out his relationship with his wife but he knows there are no guarantees.
"I love my children more than anything. I just can't believe I did that," Hankins said. "I've let my children down."
ERODING FAMILIES
Meth has been a growing problem, particularly on the welfare side of the justice system, said Magistrate Deborah Domine, who works in the juvenile division of Elkhart County courts. There are about 450 cases of children in need of services (CHINS), and more parental rights are terminated every year, she said.
Domine estimated that 80 percent to 90 percent of all juvenile cases, including CHINS and delinquency cases, involve an addiction problem in the home. Meth is increasingly prominent in those cases over recent years, Domine said.
"It's eroding the most essential part of our society -- our families," Domine said.
More often than not, a family can't overcome complications from meth use before the time courts are legally bound to terminate parental rights, Domine said.
Recovering from a meth addiction takes a full two years, Domine said, but the law relinquishes parental rights if the child has been out of the home for 15 of the most recent 22 months.
The goal of this law is not to punish parents but to get children help, Domine said.
"I'm torn in suggesting allowing parents more time," Domine said. "The nature of this addiction requires additional time to overcome the problem, and we need to monitor the progress. But children need permanency."
What many of these children think is "normalcy" differs drastically from what the mainstream considers appropriate, Domine said. Their entire sense of reality is turned upside down when they're taken away from everything they've ever known.
"How do you tell a child, when they think this is normal, 'Your life is at best going to be jeopardized'?" Domine said.
That's not to say there aren't many success stories, she said. The greatest encouragement to those working in juvenile justice is hearing of a child's accomplishment in school or extracurricular activities after they've been through the system.
But many days are discouraging, especially when one of those children enter the delinquency side of the system later on, she said.
"Meth is cheap. It's an escape. This is where too many people are turning" and more needs to be done to prevent people from doing it in the first place, Domine said.
FACTORY WORKERS VULNERABLE
One common story Elkhart attorney Mike Yoder hears from clients is getting into meth with perhaps unrealistic but good intentions.
Yoder, a criminal defense attorney for 15 years, said many of his clients become addicted to meth while working in the manufacturing industry.
A recent client, a man with no criminal history, started meth with the belief it would help him work more efficiently, Yoder said. The man accepted a friend's offer of meth, Yoder said. He believed meth would make him work faster, thus helping him avoid job cuts and support his family longer, Yoder said.
That's not what happened.
Six months later, Yoder said, "he was hopelessly addicted."
He lost his job after he was arrested on meth-related charges, Yoder said.
"Meth is devastating to families," Yoder said. "I've never seen a happy marriage where meth was involved. By the time I meet my client, the family relationships have already been evaporated."
That's a big part of why Yoder chooses to defend those accused of meth crimes -- to negotiate with prosecutors and give offenders a chance to have a life after prison. If there's any way of salvaging relationships, Yoder said, it's getting help on their own or with the support of family and friends.
"I don't think people should be locked up," Yoder said. "But it's not popular to consider an alternative, and taxpayers are probably not going to pay for that -- in-patient treatment."
FROM LOSS TO LONGING
Hankins is less than four months away from walking out of jail.
He said he hopes telling his story will help someone else avoid the loss he has experienced.
"Stop now and stay away from it. It will destroy your life," Hankins said. "You don't want to be around the people you love. I was my children's role model. To them, I was everything."
Hankins has no misconceptions about how difficult his continued recovery will be. He can no longer be around many of the people he used to know, he said, and it will take incredible willpower to stay sober outside the controlled environment within prison walls.
"I want to do activities with my kids again. I want to be involved in their lives," Hankins said. "I went fishing with them. I enjoyed life. I want to be there again."
IMPACT OF METH ON CHILDREN
When children are removed from a home where meth is being used, dealt or manufactured, they are photographed and asked to change clothing at the scene. This is to decontaminate the child and look for any injuries. Later, the child is subject to drug testing, either by collecting a urine sample or a hair follicle.
"You would be shocked how many children, little ones, test positive for meth because it's in the home," Elkhart County Magistrate Deborah Domine said. Those numbers out of Elkhart County weren't available from the Department of Child Services.
Child Protective Services generally tries to connect the child with a relative, but many times they must place the child in a foster home.