SHARE WHAT YOU'RE THANKFUL FOR

It's the time of year when many of us reflect on the good things in our life. We want to know what you're thankful for. Your responses may be published in The Elkhart Truth or eTruth.com.

Send your responses, along with your name, address and daytime telephone number to:

* E-mail: newsroom@etruth.com

* Mail: The Elkhart Truth, Attn: I'm Thankful, 421 S. Second St., Elkhart, IN 46516

* Fax: 294-3895

ELKHART -- Thankfulness is a delicate topic to discuss during tough economic times.

When people have been out of work for months, lost their homes to foreclosure, or waited in line at the food bank, the approaching holiday season may foster more distress than good cheer.

These struggles and feelings are real and they hurt, according to Greg Hinkle, a pastoral psychotherapist at Elkhart's Samaritan Center.

Is there a road people can take to seek, if not happiness during tough times, then perhaps a sense of thankfulness?

Tony Swartzentruber, 44, was laid off 21 months ago from his job in the RV industry. He and his wife, Diane, live in Goshen with their four children, ages 8 to 15.

"What a man eats, breathes and sleeps ... (is) his work," Swartzentruber said. Losing his job left him upset, angry and scared. He asked himself, "How am I going to work this out?

"It wasn't an easy road. My faith is what's held me together."

"Our culture encourages us to substitute material things for caring, meaningful relationships," said Hinkle. While the loss of a job or income can be terribly painful and frustrating, people seeking a way out of this crisis may be able to find new value in their relationships.

GRATITUDE VS. DEPRIVATION

Both good and bad things happen to everyone, Hinkle said, adding that while that statement may be simple, the issue is not. Some people take for granted the goods things in their life, and instead focus on the bad things.

"Life is fullest when lived from a stance of gratitude," Hinkle said. "But most people live from a stance of deprivation."

While he certainly acknowledges that people have real struggles and real problems, he encourages them to ask themselves: Do they have a world view where happiness is even possible? If not, the goal may be to change that outlook.

Hinkle suggests three actions that, if people make them habit, can make a difference in their lives.

While these strategies are simple, "they're just not easy," Hinkle said. People can think of a thousand reasons why not to do them.

However, he added, practice them and, after time, "they will feed you."

1. Pause to reflect, daily, weekly, monthly, on what is good in your life.

2. Take time to consider and find gratitude in your relationships.

3. Give something to someone else; a smile, encouragement, your time or talents.

GIVING TO OTHERS

For months, Swartzentruber's ongoing efforts at finding a job were coming up empty, and he did not want to waste his days sitting at home. He called Habitat for Humanity, a nonprofit organization that brings volunteers and community resources together to build affordable housing for low-income families.

Tom McArthur, executive director of Habitat for Humanity in Goshen, said that since the first of the year, many unemployed construction workers have been volunteering their time.

Last winter, Habitat was building a house in Nappanee. It was cold. The house needed shingles.

Two days before the roof project was to be scheduled, McArthur received a call from a roofing crew that was between jobs.

"They were looking for something to do," he said. In four hours, the crew had finished the Habitat home's roof.

"They have the skills and they want to use them," McArthur said of the unemployed workers. Having these volunteers on projects, "has been really heartwarming."

When he started volunteering, Swartzentruber's wife, Diane, noticed the change in her husband.

"I found the days he would volunteer, he was a different man," she said. "It felt like he had something to give."

"I felt good at being able to help somebody," he said. "When you have a job, you're blessed."

However, to reach out to others, "just to see the smiles on peoples' faces," he said, "that really was a blessing for me."

SEEKING SUPPORT

"One of the real pitfalls of this kind of crisis is that people tend to feel ashamed," Hinkle said. In order to heal, people who have been injured emotionally or financially need to feel understood or validated.

Hinkle encouraged these folks to seek out a friend, spouse, therapist, pastor or support group they trust and who will listen to their feelings, frustrations and disappointments, and not dismiss them.

Diane said, at times, panic and depression would set in for her husband. "He had moments. He's human," she said.

Swartzentruber said he was able to share his fear and frustrations with, and find support from, other members of his church facing the same struggle.

STAYING CONNECTED TO CHILDREN

In some ways, the Iowa farm crisis of the 1980s was similar to the current crisis in Elkhart County. Declining farm incomes, inability to pay farm debts and the loss of available credit forced many farmers to sell their farm or face bankruptcy. A once-thriving agricultural industry was in ruins.

In studying how people survived that crises, Hinkle found that people stayed connected to their children.

How does that happen when a person feels crushed by a mountain of pressure?

As the provider, "it's easy to withdraw," Hinkle said. "That's tough on kids."

"The child doesn't understand about the economy," he said.

Hinkle encouraged adults to be available to their kids. Take time to talk with them, read with them and share family stories.

Hinkle said, when it comes to relationships, "we think of miracles as being some sort of supernatural occurrence," he said. In Christianity, miracles are simply something extraordinary about life, about creation. He suggests reflecting on the miracle of the birth of a child, or having found someone to love: "They weren't there and then they were. That's a miracle."

Diane said her husband has been a great example to their four children. They would tell the kids, no matter how tough life becomes, "We need to keep being faithful."

There were times when money was really tight at the Swartzentruber home.

One Sunday, after the couple committed to continue tithing what they could, they gave the church $10. As Swartzentruber was walking out of church, a man came up to shake his hand, a $20 bill tucked into in his palm.

Another night, the doorbell rang. When Swartzentruber answered, no one was there. He found many bags of groceries on the front porch. When he unpacked the groceries, there was a note placed inside: "God takes care of the sparrows. He will take care of you."

Swartzentruber's unemployment benefits were scheduled to run out on Monday, Diane said. That is the same day, after 21 months of being unemployed, he started a new job at Utilimaster in Wakarusa.

Elkhart Truth correspondent Mark Shephard asked: "It has been a rough year for people in Elkhart County. What are you grateful and thankful for as we enter the holiday season?"

Julie Yoder, medical secretary, Elkhart

"I am grateful for my faith that I live by. It doesn't matter what happens, my faith in God has always been strong. I'm thankful for my family, my job, for my health -- just the basics -- but mainly my faith in God."

Liz Beggs, restaurant server, Elkhart

"I'm grateful for having a job, my family, and having a roof over my head, and my brother. My brother is in the marines. So that's what I'm grateful for; it's pretty much my family and friends and surviving."

Penny Premore, unemployed, Elkhart

"To be alive -- things ain't been so well for me this year. I have no income at all. They wouldn't give me food stamps. So I'm grateful to have family and good health. I was laid off in May. I did get called back in September but I got hurt while I was off and so my doctor wouldn't let me go back to work, and I couldn't collect short-term disability because I was laid off at the time. I can't collect unemployment because I'm not capable of working, so I have nothing coming in. My mom's actually laid off, so she can't help me. I've just kind of been borrowing from relatives and just trying to make it by that way."

Nick Berke, auto mechanic, Elkhart

"I'm grateful for my wonderful wife and loving family, and my great boss who's keeping me employed in the wonderful job that I'm at. I'm definitely grateful for my job. I'm grateful for my health. I do (have health insurance). (My boss) pays for it, so I'm grateful for that."